If I had to come up for a motto for Australia’s iconic Birdsville Races I’d choose “the petrol’s never more expensive”, “you’ll never eat more flies” or “the line in the ladies showers never gets shorter”.

Fortunately, for the race organizers at least, I haven’t been employed to do so and they very sensibly went with “the dust never settles” - which I admit is rather fitting.

Besides, flies, expensive petrol and long shower lines are part of what makes this event so special, along with the travelling boxing tents, friendly crowds, dusty horse races and non-stop entertainment.

It’s not everyone that wants to drive some 1200km or more into Australia’s dead heart to celebrate a horse race, and yet this harsh and enigmatic setting on the edge of the Simpson Desert hosts some 5000 people every September for one of the nation’s most famous outback events.

Birdsville is one of the most isolated towns in the country and sits in the most south western corner of Queensland where the roads are red, there are graveyards for cars and sometimes sanity and shifting sands blow through town from some of the largest sand dunes in the Simpson.

However the remote location hasn’t stopped a steady stream of some 30,000 visitors who come through the desert tracks every year to stay a night, visit the local museum and galleries and have a beer in the historic pub with any of the 30-100 residents.

But on the first weekend in September the town bursts at the seams as campervans, 4WDs, light planes, buses and coaches rumble into town plastered in mud and dust to enjoy a weekend of frivolity in the middle of nowhere.

The races are listed by guidebook Rough Guides in the Top 40 “World Party” events and they also made it to the Australian Travellers “100 Things to do in Australia Before You Die”.

And for good reason. The official two-day program is an absolute extravaganza of Aussie bush culture with rodeos, booze, endless sunny days, famed country western stars, bush poetry and plenty of cowboy hats and boots.

So a lot of people roll into town early to set up camp and enjoy the carnival atmosphere that overtakes Birdsville. In the days leading up to the program there are auctions selling memorabilia from previous years including the puppet like horses that were used in the 2007 event when horses were banned because of equine flu.

There’s also plenty of action and empty beer cans to trip over at the famous Birdsville Hotel, considered one of the remotest places in Australia to get a drink.

Set up just opposite the Hotel is the Fred Brophy Boxing Troupe. Fred is the last boxing tent showman in the world and it’s worth driving out to Birdsville just to see him.

Every night he begins the show with a thumping drum call and a standing joke to welcome all non-Queenslanders to Australia, which gets a fitting, but well humoured boo from inter state representatives. He then invites all comers to take on his fighters.

Each is given a drum roll as they come onto the stage and are matched to one of Brophy’s men who are known by names such as The Cowboy, Barramundi Kid, White Lightening and Crush.

The vocal crowd then surges inside the tent, with beers in hand, and the show begins. Not surprisingly this kind of activity is banned elsewhere but it’s all very professional and there’s an equal amount of taunting and applauding. It could only happen in outback Australia.

The other popular activity is the rodeo where you can actually wrestle a steer yourself, try your hand at whip cracking or other cowboy activities.

But once the races begin at midday on Friday, the town empties and people head down to the track to continue the festivities. They play cricket, line up for beer, bet on the horses, deck themselves out in hairnets and fishnet stockings or chill out in the stands.

In fact they are so busy enjoying themselves there’s such a brief halt to goings on when a race begins that the horses seem rather incidental. Those that do show an interest in the horses wander past the stalls, enjoy the parade of trainers and jockeys and then pull out their binoculars or do their best to work out places as they thunder past churning up dirt and dust.

By the time the feature event comes around, the Birdsville Cup on Saturday, there’s such a combined haze of beer, dust and frivolity that you can’t help but wonder if anyone really knows who won.

And of course, some people never even make it to the racetrack at all. Some get held up at the pub in town but there are plenty of other things to do as well.

One of the feature attractions open all year is the Birdsville Working Museum. The charismatic John Menzies has a marvellous collection of stirrups, coaches, signs, telephones and potions here and he takes guided tours, if numbers are large enough, several times a day.

The Blue Poles Gallery is another good stop. You can get acquainted with friendly resident artist Wolfgang John if he’s not out painting, otherwise simply admire his fabulous works highlighting the local environment. The bakery is another good place to drop in for pizza, coffee or camel pies and a yarn with the friendly ladies.

Another must see is the Burke and Wills tree at the river where the famous Australian explorers carved their names and the best spot at sunset is atop the Simpson Desert's largest sand dune Big Red just 40km west of town.

Of course if you’ve come this far there’s no need to stop travelling once the races are over. If you have developed a taste for the outback consider extending your trip and attempt some of the famous bush tracks such as the Strzelecki, French Line, Birdsville and Hay River routes in the region. As the race motto says, the dust doesn’t have to settle on your own trip just yet.

by Joanne Lane

OTHER EVENTS
Two more race events are held in this region at the nearby towns of Bedourie and Betoota over other weekends in September. So you could hang around a few more days and then follow the crowds and dust to the next events. You could also you’re your travel out to Birdsville to coincide with other outback festivals. Along the Warrego Highway there is the Quilpie Opal Festival and 'Kangaranga Do' Street Party that culminates on the Tuesday prior to the races. You could then shuffle over to Windorah the following day for the International Yabby Races and then onto Birdsville. Alternatively if you’re coming through Innamincka you could see their picnic races at the end of August. See www.outbackholidays.info for a calendar of events.

GETTING THERE
The only roads into Birdsville are dirt roads so a 4WD is recommended but not necessarily essential. You are best to check with RACQ on 1300 130 595 before setting out or ask locally to see what the road conditions are as they can deteriorate and even close after rain. There is no public transport to Birdsville however Greyhound Buses (www.greyhound.com.au) offer tour packages from major cities for the races and charter flights can be booked to get here also.

If you are driving do note dirt roads have a maximum speed of 80km/hr and there is a heavy police presence for speeding and drink driving at the races. If you are not familiar with off road driving slow down and watch out for animals, sand gibbers, logs, water and other obstacles. Always slow down when overtaking or passing oncoming vehicles and keep well clear of road trains. Basic supplies are available along the way, however prices are high so it is better to bring whatever you can. If you plan to camp in remote areas you need to be completely self sufficient and have reasonable mechanical knowledge. Vehicle assistance is limited in these parts but join an association like RACQ. Petrol is available in towns but as some are 300-400kms apart you need to stock up whenever you can.

WHERE TO STAY
If you are approaching Birdsville via the Birdsville Track or other desert tracks you need all your own camping gear and supplies as there is no organized accommodation and no towns. However via mostly tarmacked routes into Birdsville such as the Warrego Highway there is accommodation available in most towns. Free camping is often available behind pubs/roadhouses in smaller places. In Birdsville camping is permitted on paddocks outside the town common during the races. Toilets and bins are provided and you can shower in town for $5. Camping at the Birdsville Caravan Park (Florence St, ph. 07 4656 3214) is $15-25, rooms at the Birdsville Hotel (ph. 07 4656 3244) start from $120.