The first time I saw a Shiva temple in Jaipur, India, I wondered why the man was pouring milk over a bowling ball. The "bowling ball" was actually an offering to a carved marble phallic symbol of the Hindu God of Destruction. As with many sights in India, that ritual was rife with meaning and symbolism.

India is chaotic and colorful, mesmerizing and magical. It can also be overwhelming and confusing. First time visitors would benefit by arming themselves with a little information about the culture before traversing the roads of Rajasthan and making their way through the markets and temples. It helps to make sense out of the kaleidoscope of humanity that is India and their complex customs and rituals. Following are a few basics about this exotic land.

Holy Cows
Cows freely roam the streets and alleyways in most large cites. They stop traffic, stand oblivious to motor scooters and cars in the middle of thoroughfares, and pensively chew their cud on the side of the road. On busy corners villagers sell fresh green fodder, bought by believing Hindus who in turn offer it to the cows as a religious gesture. For some, it is a daily ritual.

The big bovines are considered sacred, and are attributed qualities such as matriarchal nurturing and abundance. Most of the free-roaming cows are stray, non-productive animals. They should be given a wide berth and caution such be exercised around them as they can get aggressive. 

Driving takes patience and skill to avoid hitting the goats, sheep, domestic pigs, camels, occasional elephant, and the ubiquitous cows. As one Hindu man put it: "If you end up hitting a cow, it is not a crime. But you have sinned and it is your bad day, since cows are the most sacred of animals."

However sacred, some resident Indians do consider them pests. Driving through Delhi with a friend, we swerved and avoided a number of cows on the road.  She blithely uttered, "Why doesn't somebody catch these cows?"

Religious & Decorative Marks
What's that on your head? Men, women, and children sport various marks of color on their foreheads (over the spiritual "third eye"), which have religious and social significance.

One mark that has spiritual connotations is the tilak. You may see orange or red colored marks made from a mixture of sandalwood or turmeric paste and red coloring. Applied by a pujari (holy man), these symbolize that the person has made an offering at the temple. Pujaris and holy men often sport a combination of lines, dots and other forehead decorations. They vary in appearance depending on religious affiliation and sect.

Another mark, called a bindi, gives immediate notification of the marital status of a woman. Traditionally, it is a red dot of sandalwood or turmeric applied to the forehead, but modern women use self-adhesive plastic dots in a multitude of colors to match their outfit (no more fallout of cake-y paste). Many married women also apply red colored paste to the part of their hair as well.

Even animals are adorned with marks of significance. Long-horned cattle often sport blue or green painted horns, and elephants ears, trunks and foreheads have bright markings.  In Pushkar I saw a bright orange tilik on the forehead of a fluffy white American Eskimo dog. I assume he went temple to that morning.

Gods & Goddesses
About 80 percent of  Indians follow the Hindu religion. This vast belief system has 330 million gods and goddesses to choose from--there is literally something for everyone. Think of it as a cafeteria style selection of a god or goddess that fits. 

This accommodating, open religion recognizes one cosmic power, Brahman (or Atman), and a pantheon of "helper" gods. The primary trinity of Hindu gods are Brahma, the Creator, Vishnu the Preserver, and Shiva the Destroyer. Each god had his own consort. Brahma has Saraswati, the goddess of knowledge. Vishnu's consort is Lakshmi, goddess of wealth. And Shiva's consort is Parvati, the powerful embodiment of universal energy. 

Other popular gods are the elephant-headed, round bodied Ganesh, remover of obstacles and bestower of good luck; Krishna, the eighth incarnation of Vishnu and playful blue god of love; the monkey god Hanuman, a heroic deity recognized for his strength; and Durga, a manifestation of Parvati, who fights evils with multiple arms.

The Hindu religion is rich and complex and requires more than two paragraphs. My recommendation is to visit temples with an open mind and observe. Hindu devotion can inspiring. While visiting an ancient Ganesh temple within Ranthambore National Park i saw a man crawl to the temple. Every 20 feet or so he lay prostrate. A passer by touched his feet out of respect. The devotee may have been requesting a favor from the god or simply showing respect. Now that's devotion.

Holy Men & Sadhus
While riding in a car with a driver, retired colonel and owner of a guest house where I was staying, I saw a wild haired, very dark, and very naked man walking down the street. No one blinked an eye or missed a beat in the conversation. It was one of those poignant moments where I unquestionably knew I was in India.

The man was a sadhu. Sadhus are ascetics who have given up family, home, material possessions, and sometimes clothing to seek enlightenment. They wander freely on the earth accepting alms. Some dress as Shiva, one of the gods in the Hindu trinity, complete with trident walking stick.

Other men of the cloth, however, wear some.  Or sometimes very little cloth. Both are common sights. From nearly naked men assuming the lotus position in the center of a busy street to priests (pujaris) who mind the Hindu temples, searching for divinity and administering to devotees is a way of life.

Pujaris usually stay put at a particular temple. They have learned the various rituals, prayers and ceremonies specific to the temple of their choice whether it's Shiva, Ganesh, Hanuman, or any of the other myriad gods and goddesses. Most can marry and temple service is often a family affair with wives and/or mothers assisting in the upkeep of the temple. They make a living by accepting a portion of the offerings. Larger temples are guarded by trusts and priests are paid a fixed payment. You may notice a lack of enthusiasm at some temples as priests will perform their duties in a perfunctory manner. Apparently there is burnout in divinity as there is in more earthly occupations.

Temple Etiquette
There are thousands of temples in Rajasthan, from simple tiny structures no bigger than a shoe box to ornate ancient temples, and lavish houses of devotion built in the 20th century. Each temple is dedicated to a specific god or goddess though you'll often see many of the cast of characters represented within the temples as well. Some places of worship are open only to members of the faith, but most are open to guests as well.

Temple Tips:
 Just as you probably wouldn't wear a tank top and flip flops to your place of worship at home, it's important to be respectful when you're abroad. Dress appropriately.
 All Hindu temples and Islamic mosques require you to remove your shoes upon entering. If you are uncomfortable in bare feet, stash a pair of socks in your bag. You can usually "check" your shoes before entering for a small fee.
 Bring a cloth handbag—leather is prohibited in most Hindu temples (remember the sacred cow?)
 Head covering for women such as a scarf, is advisable. Some mosques require men to wear head cover as well. A handkerchief will do.
 Some temples forbid photography and usually have a posted sign indicating restricted use of cameras. Others allow it, but be respectful.
 Occasionally there will be guides to explain architecture, deities, and rituals, but in many temples, you're on your own.

Before entering, you may purchase sweets or flower garlands from outside vendors to offer to the temple deity. A pujari is usually there to receive your offering and may in turn give you sweets to eat or share that have been blessed by the god. After viewing the god or goddess (known as darshan), paying your respects, or just staring in awe at this colorful depiction of divinity, the priest may apply a tilak to your forehead. Hindu devotees are very welcoming and usually quite happy to answer questions.

Touching the Feet
Touching the feet of another is a show of respect before parents, elders, teachers and others in society whose position commands respect. It is a symbol of recognizing the selflessness of these people as well. The respected party in turn offers a blessing or good wishes.

While it's a show of obeisance to touch another's feet with the hands, one should never use one's own feet to touch another. This is considered disrespectful. Be mindful that the soles of your feet are not pointed toward another, especially when sitting. If you happen to accidentally step on another, apologize immediately. And by all means,  no footsie under the table, please.

Table Manners
Cutlery is common in hotels and restaurants, but many Indians still dine in the tradtional manner, consuming their food by hand—but always the right hand. The let is used for ablutions.

Naan or other Indian flatbread serves at the tool to transport food from plate to mouth. Like chopsticks, it takes a little time to master tearing bread with one hand and scooping up food with it, but in no time you'll be sopping up the creamiest of curries and soupiest of dahls with your naan.

Pack a nail brush. It wasn't until my third trip to India that I figured out why my nails and cuticles turned orange in India.

What's She Wearing?
The women of Rajasthan look like sparkling jewels—even sitting sidesaddle on the backs of motorbikes with their silk scarves billowing out behind them. They seem to be draped in miles of brightly colored silk with bangles up to their elbows. Among the modes of dress, two are common in Rajasthan: the Salwar Kameez and the sari.

Everyone from young girls to married women wear Salwar Kameez. This is basically a versatile and wildly comfortable flowy pantsuit made up of a salwar (pajama pants) and kameez (top of varying length), most often accompanied by a long matching dupatta, or scarf. The dupatta serves as decoration, ensures modesty (it's loosely draped across the chest), and is functional, covering the head and neck against the heat and bright sun. They can be simple cotton numbers or fancy embellished silk ensembles suitable for attending a posh wedding. They can be short or long sleeve (rarely sleeveless unless worn by less traditional ladies).

Saris are most frequently worn by married women. The long fabric, which varies in length and averages about 20 feet, is wrapped and draped a variety of ways depending on  region. In Rajasthan it's often painstakingly folded into pleats and tucked into a floor length skirt, then slung over the shoulder. A choli, which is a cropped, belly baring top with short sleeves, serves as the bodice. Again, they can be simple cotton or jewel embellished affairs. Tourists who aren't up to the task can buy ready-to-wear saris with pre-formed pleats, an elasticized waist and ready-made blouse. Simple cotton saris sell for as little as $13. Elaborate silk saris with embroidery and beads can cost thousands.

Turbans
White, red, pink, print, giant, small, tall, simply or elaborately wrapped, turbans are an important part of the culture in Rajasthan  worn by men throughout the state. There is a tremendous amount of variation, depending on caste, religion, region, season, occupation, and occasion. The fabric is typically a pure soft cotton dyed in a variety of colorful shades. The length of the cloth varies but is typically between 20 and 36 feet long and. 9 to 12 inches wide. Male members of the Sikh religion always wear a turban which helps to keep their long, uncut hair under control. 

An interesting albeit slightly dusty turban museum can be found at Surabhi's restaurant in a wonderful, pillared heritage property in Jaipur on Old Amer Road. The owner has amassed quite a collection of Rajasthani headgear with detailed descriptions about each style.

Can't tie a turban? Don't despair. There are ready to wear turbans available for different head sizes. Go on, try one on for size.

The Third Sex: Hirjas
You may at times catch sight of Hijras, or eunuchs, aggressively asking for money from shop keepers during holidays or auspicious occasions such as births or weddings. These are castrated males (still practiced in some areas), persons of ambiguous or malformed genitalia, and transgender people. They live in their own private communities and generally dress as women. Hirjas can bless or curse an event, the choice which is often dependent on the amount of alms received.

During princely times, Hirjas often guarded harems or worked in royal households. Some families castrated their children for these employment opportunities.

Arranged Marriages
Marriage holds a very important place in an average Indian's life. The institution is part and parcel of the social fabric of the country. About 80 percent of marriages in India are arranged by the parents of the bride and groom. Friends, relatives and matrimonial ads, are all sources to find the best match. Add financial status, social standing, and birth data for horoscopes into the mix and you have all the necessary tools for a match made in India.

Sometimes a bride and groom never meet until the wedding day. In less traditional families, the couple is encouraged to meet each other and discuss compatibility
Once everything is agreed to, the dowry negotiation beings (a practice that is now illegal but still observed). Dowries can be everything from gold jewelry to cows to refrigerators.

Weddings themselves are three day affairs culminating in an elaborate party for hundreds and sometimes thousands of guests.  At a recent wedding in Jaipur of a prominent jeweler's daughter, the father and bride descended from the "heavens" in a crane, offered cuisine from 18 different countries, had flowers flown in from Bangkok and Hong Kong, and the hottest Bollywood stars performing for the musical evening. Indians are so passionate about getting married, the booming wedding industry is worth more than 60 billion US dollars a year...and growing.